Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Enduring the most recent days that have past, I've returned to a place where my mind soars and my heart sews new seeds of love and remembrance.
As I age, I become more sensitive to life in the TRUE meaning as in life there is death. After losing my little brother 17 months ago I had inherited his Betta whom I've named "Mister fish". Who would have thought a fish could touch ones heart? Perhaps I've attached myself to him since he was my brothers fish and was there when he passed away... who knows.
Mister fish has taken ill and has been laying on the bottom of his tank for 5 days now. He twirls, swims like a mad man and then sinks to the bottom. I've bought him a new fish tank and medicated the water, added salt etc. hoping that whatever ails him will diminish but not the case. He is dying and taking a damned long time to do so. I think he really doesn't want to leave. He swims around when I talk to him then sinks again. SO I'm truly sad this week and hate seeing anything suffer.
I'm amazed at the strength of our hearts, they're incredibly strong. They've survived that first broken heart from a high school sweetheart and you'd swear you would have died from the pain, they survive the loss of a loved one (most of the time yet they continue to be broken only to mend.
By Mister fish's slow death process, it's resurfaced the broken heart I had 17 months ago, it's brought back feelings that will inevitably return once again.
A fish has done this to me!!!!
In my feeling of helplessness I went back to that odd little creative place in my mind and felt the need to create something a little different and bring back some old style. I hopped in front of the torch and made some old favorites, ivory with rose frit and adding to a little wax cast nugget that I had made over at Brenda's studio. I like the way this turned out, nice and simple and an agape of love.
6 comments:
So sorry to hear about Mister fish... however, the necklace is gorgeous! Hang in there :- )
Cindy
I can oh, so relate. Months after my father passed away of terminal cancer (I held his hand as he died), my cat fell ill. I was determined it was not going to be the same thing--I was not going to let another thing close to me die!
He lived a bit longer, and then I was ready to see him go. At least you know why you feel the way you do. It took me awhile to realize what the cat situation meant. Loss is hard. It rips open your heart. And another one or another one just doesn't make it any easier.
Cindy,
Amazing necklace, I love it!
I sobbed when my Betta ended up in the big fishbowl in the sky and he didn't even have the huge emotional connection to a family member that Mister Fish has so I get it.
However, I brought my Betta back from at least 2 major illnesses that I didn't think he would survive (yes, I spent over $40 medicating a $3 fish) so don't lose hope. Now... with my infinite fishy knowledge it sounds like he has swim bladder disorder. Have you tried putting him on a fast for a day or two then giving him a tiny bit(like 1/4) of a blanched frozen pea?
...jewelry and Betta medical advice in one place...
Oh no...at first I was excited to see that Mr Fish had a new home and then I read the news :*(
xoxo
Thank everyone for your sweet words, unfortunately "Mister Fish" has left us. :o(
What a fight he had, he didn't want to leave. Today we're having a little service out in the garden. I'm planting a flowering bush where he'll rest.
Sad that he's gone but grateful that I had him for the time that I did.
That little guy had a big soul!
Gorgeous as all your things are!
Hi Cindy, I had no idea you were a follower on my blog list! Thank you, and I enjoy browsing your etsy shop and hope someday to be able to purchase something for myself!!
xoxo Carol
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